Irresponsible Sex

microaggressions:

“Wow, that’s really irresponsible of you.”

—

What he said when I told him to wear a condom because I wasn’t on birth control, in an otherwise frank and equitable discussion about our sexual preferences. Clearly his pleasure was more important than not getting me pregnant.

Yet another example of how women are expected to be responsible for protecting themselves from STDs and pregnancy, because men shouldn’t have to be expected to care for the wellbeing or wishes of the women they’re having sex with.

If my sarcasm isn’t plain enough here, I’ll spell it out; while both parties are responsible for protecting themselves when it comes to sex, the emphasis is almost always put on women to carry protection or be on birth control. In this case, the woman is being responsible, by telling her partner to wear a condom before they engage in the fun sexytimes, and he dumped it back on her again, instead.

Someone might complain about nitpicking on these “small things” and tell me to tackle the bigger problems that women face. We all know Richard Dawkins (link) would. The thing is, the attitudes that shape those larger problems start with these smaller instances, these microaggressions.

Besides, can’t a feminist be against both at the same time? Or are we running on battery power and only have enough charge for one injustice at a time?

….Sidetrack aside, sexual responsibility needs to be on both partners, not just the woman, who stands to lose her reputation, a piece of her life, the time it takes to go through with pregnancy, or the time it takes to travel to a clinic that will actually do an abortion, the money invested in either birthing a baby or aborting a fetus, not to mention the potential heartbreak in giving up the child she may bond with (intentionally or not). That’s not even including the dwindling rights she has to her own body, where the option to abort is being systematically eliminated and unfunded (many clinics being shut down and the nearest one may be hours away, nevermind someone who doesn’t have easy access to transportation), and some states are charging women with murder if they miscarry (link).

And nowadays, it’s expected that she be the one to make sure it doesn’t happen, or else it’s her own fault for having sex.

(Source: microaggressions)