A modest means to meed out musings and pleasant pastimes aplenty.
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When men have been hypersexualized to the point of becoming nothing more than objects of sex in the eyes of the public, when sexual assault isn’t such a commonplace occurrence for women that 1 in 4 will experience it in their lifetimes, often multiple times, when women are genuinely treated as equals and not only given concessions meant to appease….
…This might actually be funny.
I’m still laughing at it. It’s pretty funny haha
….*raise eyebrow* Do you realize I was condemning it? For NOT being funny, and in fact, being pretty freaking insulting?
Yep, I’ll still think it’s funny.
The good news is, you’re not alone in finding it funny, obviously. So my opinion on this being funny or not obviously doesn’t matter.
The bad news is, you contribute back to a wider culture that actually hates women, alongside Ryan here. :\ And while it’s probably just a joke to you (and many others, girls included), it’s not a joke to the guys who use this to build their opinion on women, and will actually do harmful things- and think that you agree with them.
Which, I’m guessing, you don’t. :\ But laughing at women makes them think you do.
I’m laughing at the joke, not women. Calm down. it’s all cool. Chill a little not everything is an attack on women. 8)
It’ just a joke silly billy :D
The joke tells us that women overreact to being casually hit on, that they’re hypersensitive, and mocks the idea of guys reacting like women to a non-related remark (Really, a related comment would be, “Oo, I like the bulge in your pants!” or something like that).
No, it’s not directly an attack on women. But it suggests that their opinion/reaction to being casually hit on- in this case, being reduced to a pair of boobs- is silly and nonsensical.
So when a woman internalizes that message, that reacting to a comment like that with disgust is ridiculous/offensive, she lets a guy comment on her. Sometimes, it goes nowhere- MOST guys won’t, in fact, go much further than commenting. But 1 in 20 will. So, instead of rebuffing that initial comment, she quietly accepts it, and the creeper takes that as an invitation to do more.
Surprisingly enough, you can’t tell which ones will and won’t press it further by looking at them, or even from initial contact, because a lot of guys like to press until they succeed (another narrative that tells men that they need to value themselves on their success in attracting a woman, which isn’t fair to guys, either).
Jokes just like this one normalize and confirm the attitude that women are just being too sensitive. It’s just a joke, but a joke still conveys a message, and sometimes it’s the most effective way of communicating an idea- especially by mocking a behavior that someone feels the need to “correct” (as in, ‘stop being so sensitive’).
So, what I was saying before; it’s just a joke to you. You would NEVER do anything like the situation I described above, where someone takes it too far and hurts someone. So of course it’s funny. But 1 in 20 men will. And the other 19 either say nothing, or laugh alongside them at jokes like this, and that 1 in 20 will go, “See? Other guys agree with me that women are too sensitive! They agree with my worldview where women are Less Than I am!” and go ahead with something awful, thinking they have the support of their peers.
And when that victim might come forward, needing help or support, she’ll get immediately asked if she did anything to invite/allow the attack on her, and she’ll have to sit there and realize, no, she didn’t act disgusted when he commented on her body. She didn’t immediately withdraw. She didn’t protect herself in that way. Despite what jokes mocking this behavior taught her, now she’s being told that she should have done it, and thus she either deserved what she got or she wasn’t really raped.
Why am I taking the time to type all this out, seriously in the light of what you think is so funny? Even when I’m not sure you’ll take what I’m saying seriously, because you feel defensive and like I’m just being… BAM- too sensitive! on the matter?
Because I believe you’re smart enough to see the connection between the smaller things like this, a ‘microaggression’ (as they’re called), and the bigger, systematic aggressions. I want to believe you’ll take the time to read what I’m saying and understand why.
And if you can’t… then I guess I’m just a ‘silly billy’ to you. :c
“Wow, that’s really irresponsible of you.”
What he said when I told him to wear a condom because I wasn’t on birth control, in an otherwise frank and equitable discussion about our sexual preferences. Clearly his pleasure was more important than not getting me pregnant.
Yet another example of how women are expected to be responsible for protecting themselves from STDs and pregnancy, because men shouldn’t have to be expected to care for the wellbeing or wishes of the women they’re having sex with.
If my sarcasm isn’t plain enough here, I’ll spell it out; while both parties are responsible for protecting themselves when it comes to sex, the emphasis is almost always put on women to carry protection or be on birth control. In this case, the woman is being responsible, by telling her partner to wear a condom before they engage in the fun sexytimes, and he dumped it back on her again, instead.
Someone might complain about nitpicking on these “small things” and tell me to tackle the bigger problems that women face. We all know Richard Dawkins (link) would. The thing is, the attitudes that shape those larger problems start with these smaller instances, these microaggressions.
Besides, can’t a feminist be against both at the same time? Or are we running on battery power and only have enough charge for one injustice at a time?
….Sidetrack aside, sexual responsibility needs to be on both partners, not just the woman, who stands to lose her reputation, a piece of her life, the time it takes to go through with pregnancy, or the time it takes to travel to a clinic that will actually do an abortion, the money invested in either birthing a baby or aborting a fetus, not to mention the potential heartbreak in giving up the child she may bond with (intentionally or not). That’s not even including the dwindling rights she has to her own body, where the option to abort is being systematically eliminated and unfunded (many clinics being shut down and the nearest one may be hours away, nevermind someone who doesn’t have easy access to transportation), and some states are charging women with murder if they miscarry (link).
And nowadays, it’s expected that she be the one to make sure it doesn’t happen, or else it’s her own fault for having sex.
In case you hadn’t guessed from the slew of recent posts, Microaggressions is a spectacular website, showcasing just all the small things in our everyday life, and how they pile up to make marginalized groups feel, well, marginalized.
It also illustrates how these attitudes are still prevalent today, today, as in an age where we believe we are so enlightened and free from prejudice (and when I say “we”, I mean White, Cisgendered, Middle-Class-or-Wealthier, Heterosexual, Temporarily Able-Bodied Men more often than others, since that’s the assumed default in this country- even though we sometimes face these attitudes from our peers/people belonging to other marginalized groups).
I really recommend a read. It’s appalling, frustrating, heartbreaking, and gives an insight to attitudes many aren’t aware still float around to this day.