Facebook’s Assumed Gender
I didn’t list my gender on Facebook and appear in my siblings’ family box as Brother.
Yup. Happened to me, too. And I’d left it genderless on purpose, because of the ridiculous ads targeted towards women.
“Wow, that’s really irresponsible of you.”
What he said when I told him to wear a condom because I wasn’t on birth control, in an otherwise frank and equitable discussion about our sexual preferences. Clearly his pleasure was more important than not getting me pregnant.
Yet another example of how women are expected to be responsible for protecting themselves from STDs and pregnancy, because men shouldn’t have to be expected to care for the wellbeing or wishes of the women they’re having sex with.
If my sarcasm isn’t plain enough here, I’ll spell it out; while both parties are responsible for protecting themselves when it comes to sex, the emphasis is almost always put on women to carry protection or be on birth control. In this case, the woman is being responsible, by telling her partner to wear a condom before they engage in the fun sexytimes, and he dumped it back on her again, instead.
Someone might complain about nitpicking on these “small things” and tell me to tackle the bigger problems that women face. We all know Richard Dawkins (link) would. The thing is, the attitudes that shape those larger problems start with these smaller instances, these microaggressions.
Besides, can’t a feminist be against both at the same time? Or are we running on battery power and only have enough charge for one injustice at a time?
….Sidetrack aside, sexual responsibility needs to be on both partners, not just the woman, who stands to lose her reputation, a piece of her life, the time it takes to go through with pregnancy, or the time it takes to travel to a clinic that will actually do an abortion, the money invested in either birthing a baby or aborting a fetus, not to mention the potential heartbreak in giving up the child she may bond with (intentionally or not). That’s not even including the dwindling rights she has to her own body, where the option to abort is being systematically eliminated and unfunded (many clinics being shut down and the nearest one may be hours away, nevermind someone who doesn’t have easy access to transportation), and some states are charging women with murder if they miscarry (link).
And nowadays, it’s expected that she be the one to make sure it doesn’t happen, or else it’s her own fault for having sex.
“I Shouldn’t Have to Feel Afraid”
“Alright love, how you doing tonight? You look lonely, want some company?”
Shouted at me often. As a woman I shouldn’t have to feel afraid to be outside alone after dark, but the sad fact is I do, and I have good reason to.
This sort of thing has happened to me quite a few times, too. The best part is that because I’m fat, I’ve had a lot of people clearly not believe me, and treat me as though I’m imagining things/making things up/ “Are you sure it was directed at you?” (Yes, I was the only other person on the street at the time!). Yay Intersectionality of Marginalization!
: While attending a charity boxing match between Marines and...
While attending a charity boxing match between Marines and Firefighters/PD, there was ONE match where women were boxing. There was a firefighter boxing a policewoman. During the match, the announcer kept referring to them as “somebody’s mom” and said, “I’d hate to get a spanking from one of these…
This kind of attitude sticks through even to today. We still face being reduced to the roles people think women should have.
This is not to say a woman can’t take pride in being a mother; it’s absolutely something to be proud of! But this was an event that had nothing to do with being a mother; it was a boxing match, between a police officer and a firefighter.
This should not happen in an age that claims to be post-feminism.