MLoreley's Musings

…In my life… encountered someone who has confused “Veterinarian” with “Vegetarian”. =__=

So, I got an interesting review this week, after updating my latest chapter to The Widening Gyre. I commented on it briefly before, but I recently got an update to the reviewer’s perspective on the matter: apparently, Evelyn Amell is not really a crybaby, she’s just not as good a protagonist because she has fears like normal, reasonable, rational human beings. The reviewer’s own “Solona Amell”, you see, isn’t afraid of anything, and that’s what makes a good leader/protagonist.

That amusing concept aside, I’ll share some of what this reviewer had to say about my fanfiction:

If you develop her character properly then I guess she will make a fine leader, however I still stand by my opinion that a leader should be more fearless then she is, also falling-on-the-ground-and-weeping in the midst of battle is a bad atitude for a leader (on the other hand what the did with the abomination after she finished her crying was suitable) :D.

So, ok, I take the cry baby back. It was just how I remembered her (wrongly).


Another things I just remembered is that Zevran showed up before you finished one of the 4 main quests, however as the game does not count DLCs you could say that The Wardens Keep took as long as one of the other quests would have, so it’s ok I guess.
I also like the way how you explain the fact that some party members stay behind, so that you only have 3 with you.

And one question at last:
Would Evey use bloodmagic? First Shapeshifter and Arcane Warrior don’t look like a specs she would take imo, and if she could save Alister’s life only resorting through Bloodmagic… it would be a cruel choice I guess (and you would like it I bet), but I think she would use bloodmagic, and with all the reading she has done she probably knows enough to use her blood to power a revive (I’m sure she will be a Spirit Healer :)).

This is true. Evelyn is not a very good leader yet. It’s almost like she’s lived a very sheltered life, in many respects, and has to adjust to taking leadership when the only other person who can take charge is deferring to her instead. 

The way this reviewer is talking, though, it sounds like a major complaint zie has is that my fanfiction isn’t following the game’s mechanics to the letter; Zevran shows up too early (despite the fact that I’m pretty sure I detailed why he shows up so early), the protagonist isn’t a stone-faced, unemotional Leader of Epicness that we get in the Warden in Origins.

But I love the question about what “specializations” Evelyn’s going to be taking. As if she’s required to, or as though she can only “specialize” according to game mechanics. Now, I want to stick to canon as much as possible, this is true, but I think narrowing it down so much kinda limits the imagination (of course, this is coming from someone who kept the default name of their Warden, so there goes that on the creativity front).

I thought I made it pretty clear already that Evelyn abhors blood magic. She’s openly said so multiple times, and that it’s a line she would never cross. Does this mean she never would? Not necessarily, but the idea that she’d turn to blood magic simply because the reviewer can’t see her taking either Shapeshifting or Arcane Warrior as specializations? I actually laughed for a few minutes at that.

Thank you, reviewer, for making me laugh like that. I needed that today.

But, now, of course, I’m wondering about a story told directly involving game mechanics:

Evelyn turned in time to see the bandits flushed from their hiding, Alistair’s noble War Cry having knocked them off their feet- she smirked, thinking that their saving throw against his attack must have been pitifully weak. She had to keep on guard, however, as one recovered sooner than the others, and she’d somehow managed to aggro him, instead of Alistair, the party’s chosen tank!

Quickly, she hit space bar, to give herself time to think over her tactic in evading this bandit. She finally decided on using Winter’s Grasp to try and freeze the bandit, hoping that his resistance to cold wasn’t more than plus-four, or she’d be out of luck. She wished she’d taken the Shapeshifting specialization sooner; if she could turn into a spider right now, she’d feel a lot more comfortable about a face-to-face encounter with a man wielding a sword against her!

Hitting spacebar again, Evelyn cast her Winter’s Grasp on the bandit, and sighed in relief to see it take effect; the man was encased in ice. The other bandits had focused on Alistair, as planned, so Evelyn moved Wynne and Leliana up from where they’d stuck themselves around the bend- damn their pathing errors!

“Alistair!” She shouted up to him, waiting for the others to join the combat proper, “Use Shield Bash on that frozen guy! It’ll shatter him and do a lot of damage!”

“Right!” He cried, and Disengaged with the man he was currently holding at bay, following Evelyn’s orders as he always did.

Suddenly, one bandit’s arrow fired directly into her chest, narrowly missing her heart. “Shit!” She hissed, and opened up her inventory to check what poultices she had available. Damn, she only had four regular poultices, but at least sixty lesser poultices floating about her pack. She’d have to make due with the lesser poultice and hope it worked. Exiting her inventory, she tilted her head back to down the poultice, when one bandit sliced across her midsection with his dagger.

“No!” She groaned, dropping her poultice, then glared at the bandit. “You asshole! Now I have to wait before I can access another poultice!”

“Aw, come on now, sweetheart!” the bandit grinned, “I saw an opportunity while your inventory screen was up, an’ I took it!”

“The battle is supposed to pause, you jerk!” Evelyn sneered, going straight to her Stone Fist spell on her task bar. This guy was going to enjoy some rock to the face, to be sure.

“Hey, I waited until the screen was down, didn’t I?”

That would be a far superior fanfiction, I bet. ;)